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At first they seemed keen to have me back in some kind of science or technology job but then a junior minister seems to have taken exception to me.
It seems he fancies himself as a tech bro and doesn’t want me around to queer his pitch. After snooping around, I find one of his projects in the department is introducing an AI programme to be used to evaluate start-ups to see whether they justify government funding.
If it works, it will be great for his reputation, but if it doesn’t, it will discredit his tech pretensions, make him look like a technological incompetent and open the door of Ministerial Office to Yours Truly.
So we have to make sure it doesn’t work. I have concocted a wheeze for which I need the help of my old mucker Greaser.
“Could that bunch of retrogrades you’ve got up there degrade the training data for an AI software programme?” I ask him on the burner blower.
“ Surely you can’t be referring to ScunthorpeGenAI,” says Greaser.
“Yes, that bunch of deplorables,“ I reply, “could they do it?“
“Depends on who’s doing the training,” says Greaser.
‘An outfit calling themselves AI.AI,” I tell him, “do you know them?”
“Indeed I do – they nicked a couple of my chaps the other day.”
“Could they skew the data they’re using to train a GenAI programme?” I ask him.
“Easily’, says Greaser,
“What would it take to get them to do it?”
“These guys don’t do anything cheaply, Ed, you’re looking at a year’s salary cash in hand – say £130k to £150k.”
“Get on to it, Greaser, I’ll send you up the insertions we want to get included into the training data.”
He He. That pompous oaf the junior minister will have some explaining to do when his AI programme recommends investing in some bonkers schemes we’ll be submitting to the Ministry for evaluation.
